Who is Pondathan Lakeoff

Pondathan Lakeoff is a retired salesman for the Pond and Lake installation company Emerson Lake and more Ponds LLC of Sonoma, CA. Fed up with the rat race and with a sizable income-generating real estate portfolio Pondy decided to retire and travel. He headed first to Burning Man where one of his former clients gave him two tabs of LSD. Pondy was no stranger to drugs having gone through a coke phase in the 80s but this was his first psychedelic. The LSD blasted open his third eye and in the 10-hour journey, he met fantastical characters all around the playa. When PL was back at his house a few weeks later staring out over his impressive and well-stocked lake he took mushrooms with a trusted friend the 1000-year-old Witch Doctor Dr. Lothar Joseph, whose past lives include a long line of criminals and witch doctors. PL spent most of the day laying down moving between open eye visuals of the clouds forming incredible shapes and closed eye visuals where he was flying through space and time.

Pondathan had always been a religious man. He grew up in a deeply Jewish household. He learned to pray with the orthodox rabbi in the community and lived a mostly Jewish life. But the prayers never took Pondy anywhere. He was always stuck with two feet planted to the ground. He went the conservative path toward niche landscape sales. Throughout his life, his connection to God waned. Until he started using psychedelics. Suddenly God clearly appeared before Pondathan whenever he wanted.

He thought to himself “What other parts of the universe am I not seeing clearly?”. As a retired man of means, Pondathan set off far and wide to understand the ancient secrets of the world. He went to Mexico to take mushrooms with the ancients cults. To Tsfat in Israel to study with the masters of the Kabbalah. To Tibet to meditate with the Buddhist Adepts. To India to the great Ashrams. To the Tewahedo church in Ethiopia to see the Ark of the Covenant. To Sedona Arizona to visit the vortexes. And many many more.

Through his journey, he picked up the skills of divination, astral projection, and on-demand OBE’s. Pondathan had become a powerful master of the esoteric. The next step is to share it with the world. Pondathan Lakeoff loves finance, esoteric philosophy and experience, psychedelics, music, and humanity.

Essays posted most Thursdays.

- Pondathan Lakeoff